Things I Hate: High Waisted Shorts

I decided that my blog needed an ongoing post thread regarding the things I hated instead of the things I loved. The general theme of the blog focuses on products and styles that I personally promote and admire, but this meant it lacked the healthy cynicism that I always have on hand. To this end, I have created "Things I Hate." Enjoy!

The first inductee into the "Things I Hate" library is...

High waisted shorts from Hell (aka, a 1982 closet).

High waisted shorts are just the worst. Seriously. It is like fashion decided to pick the most universally unappealing, unsavory, and unflattering item available and make it hyper-trendy. It's kind of disgusting.

Let's take a moment to analyze how truly awful high waisted shorts are.

First, exactly who are these supposed to look good on? Rhetorical question. Sure, they highlight a slim waist, but at the expense of imperfect thighs that touch and camel toe. When did fashion (note: this isn't style) become a mockery of the female form? It requires that women take the parts of their bodies they feel most uncomfortable about and put them on display in the most unbecoming manner.

Second, I would be less at odds with this god-forsaken trend if it wasn't synonymous with the most atrocious styles. High waisted shorts seem to be exclusively available in acid washed denim circa the 80's. If it isn't pale denim, it is Lycra ridden cotton candy colors that are most likely studded or ombre. What this amounts to is an awful trend on top of other awful trends. It doesn't get better, it gets worse.

Third, these shorts do not recognize proper female anatomy. Since when does the ass start mid back? Since modern medicine did away with severe spinal abnormalities. Also, when women wear high waister shorts I can only imagine the level five yeast infection they are about to walk (literally) into. Enjoy.

High waisted shorts always make the wearer look like a third grader's stick person drawing that doesn't take torso proportions into account. This is one of those silly trends that I can safely assume will be wiped out in a matter of months, much like the yeast infections it brought with it.